A divorce is one of the most emotionally and financially difficult situations a family can face. There are two types of divorces a couple can go through. An Uncontested Divorce can be navigated quite easily when both parties mutually agree on the terms of the divorce. However, when both parties can not come to an agreement on matters such as property division, child custody, child support, spousal support, or business interests, a Contested Divorce is the result.
For couples with significant assets and children, the stakes are quite high when navigating a contested divorce. The decisions made during the process can affect your financial security, your children’s well-being, and the co-parenting relationship for many years. Preparation, emotional discipline, and strategic thinking are vital tools needed, not just for protecting your interests, but to help minimize any long-term damage to your family.
Below are some things to consider when preparing for and navigating a contested divorce.
• Gather all financial documents: tax returns, bank statements, investment accounts, retirement accounts, business records, real estate deeds, and debt statements.
• Understand marital vs. separate property under your state’s laws.
• Locate hidden or complex assets like stock options, deferred compensation, trusts, or business interests.
• Get professional valuations for businesses, real estate, and high-value personal property.
When there are children involved, the child’s best interests are the court’s highest priority.
Things to Consider:
• Parenting time schedules regarding custody
• Who has decision-making authority (legal custody)
• The continuity of schooling and extracurricular activities
• Emotional and mental stability of the child during parental conflict
A contested divorce almost always requires formal litigation. This can include motions, discovery, depositions, and, if needed, a trial. To be best prepared, include in your strategy:
• Retaining a family law attorney who is also experienced in complex asset division.
• Understanding your state’s approach to asset division (community property vs. equitable distribution).
• Gathering documentation and evidence early.
• Anticipating what arguments the opposing party will present.
Divorce litigation can most often be long and emotionally exhausting. To be best prepared for this legal journey, you can:
• Seek help from a therapist or divorce coach.
• Manage your expectations when it comes to timelines and outcomes.
• Resist the urge to use litigation as a means for revenge.
• Keep your emotions in check when using written communication (emails and texts may be used in court).
In contested divorces, both parties engage in formal “discovery” by exchanging financial information, as well as other relevant evidence.
When this happens, expect the following:
• Interrogatories (written questions)
• Request to produce documents
• Depositions
• Subpoenas for third-party records
Complete and honest disclosure is vital. An attempt to hide assets or mislead the court can result in damaged credibility and result in penalties.
In many contested divorces, many cases settle before a trial becomes necessary. Strategic decision-making is most often the key factor to avoiding a lengthy and public trial.
It’s best to consider:
• Opportunities for mediation
• Cost vs. benefit analysis of litigation
• The emotional stress of a public trial
• Having negotiated control vs. judicial uncertainty
When children are involved, settlements often help keep a more cooperative co-parenting relationship.
Contested divorces are not just about dividing assets; it’s about restructuring your life. Make sure you have a plan for:
• Post-divorce budgeting
• Making adjustments to estate plans
• Updating beneficiary designations
• Rebuilding your credit (if necessary)
• Building a sustainable co-parenting plan
The desired end result should not simply be to “win,” but to secure financial stability, protect the well-being of your children, and build a foundation for a workable post-divorce future.
If both spouses can agree on terms of a divorce they can file an “Uncontested Divorce”. An uncontested divorce is the fastest and most cost-effective way to get a divorce. Once all terms are established and agreed upon, the documents are filed, the judge reviews them, and the divorce is finalized.
Only three simple steps are involved in filing for an Uncontested Divorce.
Write the terms of the divorce that you both agree to. This includes things like who keeps the home, who takes which vehicle, who takes which bank account, which days you have the children, how much child support, etc.
Based on the terms you both agree upon, documents are drafted and filed to the court for the judge’s final review.
The judge reviews the documents and if no changes are necessary, signs and approves the divorce. Copies of the divorce documents are then delivered to each party and the divorce is final.
To get started, click the button below to download or print out the Uncontested Divorce Worksheet. This worksheet will help both you and your spouse outline the terms of the divorce that can be successfully agreed upon.